| The premise for Evolution, directed by Ivan Reitman, is not new. An asteroid lands on earth, as witnessed by firefighter candidate Wayne Green (played by Seann William Scott). Two groovy scientists, biologist Ira Kane (played by David Duchovny) and geologist Harry Block (played by Orlando Jones), put a specimen in their lab at Glen Canyon Community College, Arizona, and discover that what they have is growing and evolving rapidly. Along comes the U.S. military to take control of the site of the asteroid, accompanied by assistant director of the Centers for Disease Control Allison Reed (played by Julianne Moore), who both push aside Professor Kane, whom she recalls bungled an anthrax vaccine awhile back, thus consigning him to the diminutive job as community college instructor in Arizona. All his specimens and computer disks are raided to ace him out of any role. The life-force grows into ferocious beasts, ultimately including apes; five billion years of earth evolution have been replicated in a month. General Woodman (played by Ted Levine), on learning that the lifeforms could take over the United States in a week, tells the Arizona Governor (played by Dan Aykroyd) that he will destroy the menace with napalm. Reed, who evidently does not test alternatives in the lab, quits and goes over to Kane in order to make a silly love story out of the plot, but she brings back the original specimen, which oddly has not grown. Just then two overweight C- students show up in the lab. One lights a match and throws the flame accidentally toward the specimen. When the specimen suddenly grows but dies, Kane realizes that heat is what promotes rapid growth, thus napalm is contraindicated. Kane then reads the periodic table of elements from the teeshirt worn by Reed and concludes that selenium would kill the alien life-force. Where could he find enough selenium to stop the growth? The two students immediately suggest an antidandruff shampoo, the principal ingredient of which is selenium. Green, who flunked his firefighter exam, mans a firetruck to the center of the life-force, while the two groovy scientists kill the beast with an injection of selenium. Kane gets the girl. The governor arranges for Green to made firefighter despite flunking the exam. The earth is saved. African American geologist Block is treated with condescension throughout. Government officials, notably the military, are vilified. And professors are exposed for prurient interests. A clue that Evolution milks yet another Hollywood formula for a silly movie to make money is the tagline, “Have a nice end of the world.” I have a hunch that the middle word in the tagline is was originally spelled differently, as the word in the film is “enema.” MH |